I, for the life of me, cannot understand how a woman ever finds herself in this predicament. If marriage is the ultimate goal and a man doesn’t seem to be interested in marriage, it puzzles me why a woman won’t just pack up and leave. Yes, this is most certainly one of those “easier said than done” situations, but I mostly find that to be a convenient excuse not to make the tough decision. Often times women declare reasons for staying like “I’ve invested so much time in this relationship I don’t want to start over now” or “I don’t want to walk away from him now and then he marries the next chick that comes along.” But if a woman wants to be married and has waited 10 (or more) years in hopes of eventually being married to that man, it’s probably not going to happen.
Men tend to carry the most blame when situations like this are queued up for discussion. Instead of empowering women, men are looked to be “wasting a woman’s time” or “too immature to settle down.” Granted, those viewpoints are likely an accurate description, I’m not exactly a fan of leaving personal, life-altering decisions in the hands of other people. If a woman is dating a man for 10 years (or more), she has every right to ask that man if marriage is on the table. Ideally, she’d ask before a decade of her life passes by, but at some point the question needs to be asked. Where women tend to make their mistake is by not making it clear at some point during the relationship what it is they want and what it is they’re looking for. People, in general, seem to think there’s something wrong with setting up guidelines from day one and making people adhere to those guidelines. Suffice it to say, if a woman makes it plain from the outset what is acceptable in how she’s being treated, it becomes much easier to determine when to work with someone and when to walk away.
CAN THIS EVER HAPPEN IN NAIJA?
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